BREAKING — Merck & Merck Agree To Merge: New Firm To Be Called… “M-Squared”

Trust me when I say I have this on the best of (German) authority.

Apparently the to-be-launched branding campaign is going to elaborate upon — and serve as a derivative riff off of — Albert Einstein’s most-famous equasion.

As with all mergers, though, the redundancies are being eliminated — drop the enigmatic “E”; cancel off the fudge constant “C” (who really cares about the speed of light, anyway?). . . and you are left with. . . only an M.

But it has been squared, to the power of innovation. Genius, I tell you.

. . . .The two management teams have streamlined, reducing Einstein to simply “M2“. . . .

If you run this news item today, you must credit this outlet. I haven’t invested millions of dollars in lavish dinners, to procure my my confidential connections (and thus garner this scoop) — for nothing. Thank you, in advance. That is all.

UPDATED @ 2 PM EDT — Then we read this. N-i-i-i-i-ce.


One Response

  1. Happy April Fools Day!!!! Keep up the great work!

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